Everyday Legacies Life Story Writer Blog

The surprising #1 thing your family wants from you

Tue, 02 Sep 2025 06:25:43 GMT

Hi friends,

A couple of weeks ago, an article in the Wall Street Journal caused a big buzz in my world. Read it here if you missed it.

Here’s the CliffsNotes version: more and more people are recording their personal histories before they die, in books meant for their descendants. The idea is to capture life experiences, lessons learned, and the values that guided them. The article highlighted several companies offering commissioned books, with price tags ranging from $12k to $100k.

Although my company wasn’t specifically mentioned, I was tagged multiple times on social media about the piece and had several clients message me directly. I love this kind of publicity. Yay for getting the word out about personal history!

And yet, the article’s message got me thinking. Everything I see about personal history is based around writing a book.

Here’s something I want you to hear:

When it comes to recording your story, you don’t actually need to write a book.

I know—that may sound shocking coming from me. After all, I make my living writing books for families, just like the ghostwriters mentioned in the article.

But in almost twenty years as a professional historian, academic, and storyteller, I’ve learned some things. One of them is that the value of your story isn’t in the quantity of what you leave behind—it’s in the quality.

Not all stories are created equal. Some details matter far more than others when it comes to actual positive impact for your descendants.

For instance, it might not be very important for your grandchildren to know the story of how your classmate dumped applesauce on your head in third grade. But it is crucial for them to know where you grew up and how your parents raised you.

Likewise, the ins-and-outs of your career ladder matter far less than why you chose your field, or how you overcame challenges or made decisions in your work life.

Your feelings about your colleagues are far less important than your feelings about your spouse and children.

In short: the stories that matter most are the ones that build identity, character, and belonging.

Now, I realize hearing this could feel a bit defeating. After all, how are you supposed to know what is most important to record, and what stories could be left on the threshing room floor?

Don’t worry—I’ve got your back.

After writing nearly a thousand life stories, conducting hundreds of interviews, and burying myself in the research, I’ve distilled it down to three essentials—three things you must record if you want to leave a meaningful legacy:

Your History
Your Journey
Your Voice

Let me explain.

1. Your History

Even if you don’t feel deeply connected to your past, it’s vital to record where and who you come from. The names, dates, and small details of the generations before you (parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents) matter more than you might imagine. If you have personal memories of those individuals, by all means, please include those too.

Heritage creates belonging, identity, and context to ones life. It’s rather amazing how sometimes genes or propensities which show up from generation to generation can bring a sense of belonging to a younger family member experiencing those same things.

The bottom line: heritage matters.

2. Your Journey

When it comes to recording your experiences, it’s helpful to think of your life as a hero’s journey. You came into existence, were called to adventure, faced trials, overcame obstacles, and arrived where you are today—changed and wiser.

The point with the journey isn’t only to share the highlights and proud moments of your life, but to share the troubles and challenges too, along with the tools that have helped you be successful—your principles and values. People don’t relate to perfection, they relate to realness.

So show your loved ones who you are—a regular person trying their best to conquer life—and share the tools that helped you make it through. Your loved ones will learn more from your honesty than your accolades.

The bottom line: the hard chapters usually shape us the most.

3. Your Voice

Here’s the one that surprises people: of all the treasures you could leave behind, the most cherished is often the simplest—your voice.

In fact, the #1 prized possession I hear from people who have lost a loved one is a saved voicemail from that person—just hearing their name spoken aloud, with love by the person they love, is irreplaceable.

So along with recording the story of where and who you come from, the ups and downs you’ve had and the tools you’ve used, you also need to leave a recording of yourself talking to your loved ones individually. Call them by name, tell them you love them, tell them how proud you are of them. Keep it positive, succinct, and for goodness’ sake—save it somewhere permanent and accessible!

The bottom line: your family will always want to hear you say “I love you.”

There you go--that's it. Even if you never commission a book or produce a feature-length legacy film, if you capture these three essentials—your history, your journey, and your voice—you’ll leave behind a priceless gift that will bless your family for generations.

I hope this helps take some of the weight of leaving your story off your shoulders. And, even better, I have some tools to help you. I’ve created a DIY Legacy Guide that walks you step by step through this process. You can access it here.

If DIY isn’t your style, don’t worry—I’ll have an exciting announcement soon about another way I can help.

For now, I hope this lifts some of the weight off your shoulders. Leaving your story doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Start with these essentials, and you’ll be well on your way to leaving your family one of the greatest inheritances of all—identity, belonging, and knowing they are loved forever.

Happy legacy-leaving,

Kasia

How a PhD got me here

Thu, 21 Aug 2025 15:22:36 GMT

Hi my legacy-minded friends,

I started Everyday Legacies five-and-a-half years ago, but it’s struck me that I’ve never shared much about how it all began. In the world of personal history companies, my story is a little unusual, so I thought you might enjoy hearing it.

First off, if you had asked me six years ago if I wanted to run my own business, my answer would most likely have been no.

Starting a business is scary. It’s uncertain, it’s a lot of work, and I’d only ever known a few people pull it off successfully. Entrepreneurship runs in my family, but successful entrepreneurship? Not so much.

So, I had doubts. And I hesitated. But eventually, I couldn’t ignore the calling I felt inside.

By training, I’m a historian. My research specialty is German history in the South Pacific—specifically, Tonga and Samoa. For more than a decade, I studied identity among mixed-race European/Pacific peoples and published several books and articles about it. Honestly, I thought I’d stay tucked away in research forever. I loved it, I could nerd out on it endlessly, and someday, I still plan to write more about it—including a book about Tongan immigration to the U.S.

But here’s what was funny: no matter what topic I studied, it always seemed to come back to people’s stories, and their family’s stories.

I'll give you an example.

In the last part of my PhD, I did a comparative study between descendants of Germans in Tonga and Samoa. My research questions were all about migration patterns and the effects of Euro-Pacific miscegenation. But when you strip away the academic language, what it really came down to was this: someone got a job and took a chance. Someone fell in love and got married. In the end, history comes down to individuals and families making decisions that ripple outward.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson so eloquently put it:

“There is properly no history; only biography.”

(Leave it to Emerson to say in eight words what it took me 300 pages to explain!)

And there was another thread. Beyond the individual choices shaping history, I kept seeing how knowing one’s family stories affected family members.

My research was focused on descendants of prominent mixed-race families—think professional athletes, government leaders, business moguls, etc. The unexpected theme I witnessed came down to what they knew about where and who they came from. Specifically, there was a quantifiable positive correlation between what they knew or believed about their heritage and how successful they were. That insight lined up with other great research on the power of family stories—showing just how much identity , resilience , and well-being are strengthened when people know their family’s past.

Together, the two truths I discovered about personal history compelled me towards the great work of helping to actually capture those stories.

And still there was another parallel track to this journey: I also have a heart for entrepreneurs.

When I was a sophomore in college, I started working at a small software company, first as office help and then as a technical writer for four years. The owner had bootstrapped his startup, and in the time I was there, I watched him grow it from just a handful of employees to dozens. Eventually, after I left, he sold an offshoot in an acquisition that changed his family’s life.

In less than a decade, they went from lower-middle-class to high-net-worth—and experienced all of the challenges that came with that. In particular, I saw the weight the wealth creator carried. How do you keep your kids grounded, grateful, humble, and hardworking when material needs are easily met? How do you teach them to be contributors when a job or career path doesn’t have to be a foregone conclusion?

As much as money is a privilege, it can also bring challenges that aren’t easy to understand from the outside.

That’s where I found the perfect intersection of my work and personal passions. What if there was a way I could help high-and ultra-high-net-worth individuals and families with the challenges they faced—questions of identity, continuity, connection, and values? What if I could help them preserve their real legacy—their history, character, and wisdom?

At first, I felt I was alone in this vision. But since then, I've discovered a whole wonderful community of people dedicated to holistic wealth preservation: purposeful estate planners, family advisors, rising-gen educators, and others like me—fellow storytellers and personal historians. Together, we focus on preserving not just financial assets, but qualitative capital —the intangible wealth that brings meaning, identity, strength, and connection to generations within a family.

With the idea that your true legacy is something you’re leaving every day , I named my company Everyday Legacies, and officially launched on 1 March 2020 (yes, that March 2020—I know, my timing was impeccable).

Since then, we’ve grown year over year. We’ve completed nearly four dozen projects, touching the lives of hundreds of people. Along the way, I’ve worked with clients facing cancer, heart disease, strokes, and dementia (those are the hardest projects, and I always wish we could have begun sooner!). Several clients have already passed away since we completed their stories. I feel unspeakably grateful to have helped capture their voices before it was too late, and so proud of the work we've done.

Today, I can honestly say I have the best job in the world. Though I never imagined myself as a business owner, I can’t picture a better life than this. I get to work with incredible, inspiring people, doing work that is meaningful and lasting. It is so fulfilling.

To everyone reading—thank you for your interest in our work and for supporting this mission. Thank you for being part of my journey.

Whatever you take from this story, I hope you’ll remember this one thing: your story is your legacy . Make sure it’s a good one.

Sincerely,

Kasia

Only 15% of the Stories I Write Are About Women

Thu, 14 Aug 2025 21:11:04 GMT

Hi my legacy-minded friends ,

The summer always seems to pass more quickly than I expect, and this year was no exception. With the kids already back in school, I’ve been reflecting on the whirlwind past few months. One highlight was a visit to New York City to speak to Republic Capital’s Forum of Executive Women at Rockefeller Center in June.

The trip came together at the last minute, and I’m so glad it did! (You can read my LinkedIn post about my trip here .)

The Forum of Executive Women is an ingenious part of Republic’s unique women’s initiative. It’s an extraordinary group of world-changing leaders who meet quarterly to connect, learn, and grow. Their community is rooted in vulnerability, collaboration, and development—created to foster authentic relationships and empower one another both personally and professionally.

Each gathering centers on a unique theme. June’s was The Power of Your Story , and they asked me to speak on women’s stories. They couldn’t have known how close that topic is to my heart.

Me with Republic Capital's Candace Langston and

Amy Cunningham after the FEW meeting in the

Rainbow Room at Rockefeller Center

Did you know there’s a huge discrepancy in the number of women’s stories being told/recorded versus men’s? Here are some of the statistics I shared:

In schools, only 24% of named historical figures in U.S. K–12 curricula are women—and when they are included, they’re often defined by domestic roles rather than leadership or innovation.
On Wikipedia, the largest source of biographical information in the world, less than 1 in 5 biographies are about women, and women’s bios are more likely to be left incomplete or flagged for deletion.
In publishing, women’s autobiographies and memoirs are consistently underrepresented (just take a look at the nonfiction shelves at your local bookstore!).
In major reference works, historically 5% or less of entries are about women—despite the fact that we make up half the population.

I’ve seen this imbalance in my own work. Of the nearly 1,000 life stories I’ve written, less than 15% have been about women —and only one was commissioned by the woman herself. The rest were initiated and paid for by family members.

When I meet ultra-successful men to talk about writing their stories, I often ask if their wives are doing the same. The answer is usually no. Why?

I think it’s because of what I hear from women over and over:

“My life is too ordinary to be worth recording.”

“I don’t think anyone would be interested in my history.”

"I'm not sure what I'd say."

These may sound like excuses, or like humility, but they actually reflect a deeper cultural problem: we undervalue women, and women undervalue ourselves. Somehow, it’s so much easier for us to recognize everyone else’s worth while disregarding our own contributions—whether in the home, the community, or the workplace.

But here’s the truth: women often have a disproportionate influence on the identity of a family. From the language spoken at home, to the values taught at the dinner table, to the rituals that shape daily life—it’s most often women who pass these things down. It’s why many modern family offices now use the title Chief Emotional Officer for the women who hold families together, even if they’ve never had a formal role in the family business.

As Margaret Mead famously said:

“It is the mothers in every culture who shape the character of the next generation.”

I saw this firsthand in my PhD research among mixed-race individuals in the South Pacific. Time and again, it was the mother who shaped the child’s sense of self—more than the father, more than the environment.

My friend Kalolo is a perfect example. He is the product of amazing immigrant parents: a Tongan father and a Samoan mother. Raised in South Auckland, New Zealand, he carries a Tongan surname and speaks Tongan fluently (as does his mum). But because his mother is Samoan, he was in his late thirties before he ever went to Tonga, whereas he’s traveled to Samoa more than a dozen times and now bears a Samoan chiefly title, Solosoloali’i . His mother’s influence outweighed everything else.

I’ve also noticed that most of the highly successful men I’ve interviewed point to the influence of a woman—or often, several women—who shaped them: a mother, grandmother, wife, teacher, or mentor. They often want those women’s stories recorded, sometimes more than their own. I applaud that, and the men who recognize the value of the women in their lives. Men like my client CL, who commissioned us to write not only his story, but that of his wife, Mei. CL is one of my heroes.

Women’s stories matter—just as much as men’s. When we fail to record them, we risk losing some of the most powerful sources of identity and belonging a family can have. When we include them, we create wholeness, balance, and a far deeper legacy for generations to come.

So, can I make a suggestion? If you’re a woman reading this, please stop downplaying your role and the importance of your story. Answer your children’s and grandchildren’s questions. Get in front of a camera. Record your memories. Or commission someone to do it for you.

And if you’re a man, along with recording your own story, please encourage the women in your life to preserve theirs.

Because someday, those stories will be the most valuable inheritance your family has.

Thoughtfully,

Kasia

Endnote: “Minority” stories have always been close to my heart. One of the ways I’ve created to share more women’s stories is through a “family storybook” service offered by my company, Everyday Legacies. Rather than focusing solely on one person, a family storybook beautifully records the story of the whole family. It begins with the stories of the matriarch and patriarch before they met, includes family history, genealogy (when desired), and interviews with key family members, and then tells the story of the family together from its earliest days to the present. It’s a beautiful way to acknowledge and include everyone’s story in a meaningful, lasting way, and it’s one of our bestsellers. If you're looking for a great way to draw in the women's stories in your family, may I suggest a similar approach?

What My Grandfather Taught Me About Inheritance

Fri, 08 Aug 2025 17:48:04 GMT

Hi friends,

I know—it’s been a while.

A few years ago, I started writing weekly newsletters to share thoughts on personal history, legacy, and family connection.

Then… life happened.

I had a baby. My husband had surgery. I didn’t sleep for a year (thank you, new baby). We lost two family members. Meanwhile, my business was growing faster than ever.

I’ve missed writing regularly—and I have pages and pages of ideas I want to share with you.

This week marks my commitment to begin again, and I want to start with something I’ve changed my mind about recently—something that’s shifted the way I think about legacy, family, and what we leave behind.

For a long time, I did not believe in inheritance. Not because I thought it was wrong, necessarily, but because it wasn’t a concept that applied to me.

I grew up in a family that didn’t have much. My parents and extended family prioritized self-reliance, hard work, and independence. The message I internalized early on was that if you wanted something in life, you’d have to get it yourself, because no one was going to hand you anything.

Those are important lessons for many reasons, and I’m grateful for them. But in the context of family, wealth, and legacy, I’ve come to believe there’s a better way.

The lesson came through loss. My mom died unexpectedly. And then my grandpa passed too.

In the wake of their deaths, my siblings and I were shocked to learn that they had left us something—not much, in fact they were very meager inheritances by the world’s standards, but still—a gift none of us were expecting.

I cried when I saw the checks. Not because of the money itself, but because of what it represented. The thoughtfulness and care that went into both my mom and grandpa’s desire to leave something for us.

Their gifts hit me hard. When the money arrived in my bank account, I felt the weight of a trust I hadn’t before experienced. The funds from my mom came from the sale of her home—a place she had dreamed of for years, through two bouts of homelessness and fifteen years as a single mother, raising eight children on her own under very difficult circumstances.

From my uncle, I learned that the modest check each of us received from my grandpa came from the sale of my great-grandfather’s farm five decades ago. My grandpa had lived simply, storing the extra money in investments for all this time, specifically so that he could leave us each a little when he died.

These are gifts I don’t take lightly. To me, they’re proof of love, sacrifice, and long-term thinking. It’s a legacy that connects me to three generations ahead of me. People who endured hardship and made sacrifices so that I, and now my children, could have something more.

There is nothing in me that’s tempted to spend that money, because I understand what it represents. After counseling with my husband about it, we tucked it away into investments with the hope of growing it and passing it on to our children. To me, it’s sacred. Not because of the dollar amount—but because of what it represents.

And that’s what’s changed for me.

I used to think the best thing I could do for my children was to teach them to be self-sufficient. To earn their way, as I had to. And that’s still part of my job. But now I also believe it’s my responsibility to bless their lives as much as I can. To let them feel, tangibly, that they are part of a chain of generations who love them and want what’s best for them.

What made this gift most powerful to me wasn’t the money—it was the story behind it.

If I had received that inheritance with no context, it might have felt like a random windfall. But knowing the backstory—my mother’s dream of home ownership, my grandfather’s fifty-year act of stewardship—made all the difference. It removed entitlement and replaced it with gratitude.

In this day and age, many of us will be in a position to leave more than what was left to us. But how will the next generation receive that gift? Will they understand its meaning?

That depends on what we share.

Stories aren't just sentimental. They're the most powerful tools we have to convey values, communicate sacrifice, and give context to what we leave behind. They transform a check into a connection. A bank balance into a blessing. A dollar amount into a legacy.

So if you're planning to pass something on, don’t stop at money. Leave a piece of yourself, too.

Hopefully,
Kasia

How One Family Changed My Life Forever

kasia@everydaylegacies.com (Kasia Flanagan) — Fri, 13 Sep 2024 16:55:59 GMT

Last week, my daughter and I spent several days in Idaho helping some of my siblings clean out my mom’s house. It has been almost five months since she passed away, and it is time to make some decisions about the future.

As you can imagine, it was a very emotional time. The main purpose of the trip, for all of us, was to sort through and pick up family and sentimental items, in order to distribute them to various family members.

For many reasons, I’m grateful to have so many siblings (I have seven), not the least of which is because it makes projects like this easier. While I found that tackling boxes of family memories was too much for me most of the time, my younger sister loved it. As she unpacked photos and family heirlooms, she was invigorated and excited about the contents.

I was tackling another assignment when she appeared next to me holding a photo that made me pause. It was of my mom with me and my six younger siblings from a period of time that I sometimes talk about when I speak, but that I don’t often give a lot of space in my life otherwise.

In 2004, when I turned sixteen and should have been experiencing my junior year in high school, my parents had just ended a messy divorce. We were living in hiding from my dad and were experiencing homelessness for the second time. Just after my birthday and almost exactly twenty years ago to the day, we were taken in by a man named Lynn Steadman and his wife, Susan. My mom had met Lynn at a business conference about a year before and had stayed in touch with him. He and his wife were sod farmers in Raft River, Idaho—an area so small that the addresses are found by their postal routes rather than their house number. Although the Steadmans weren’t wealthy, through years of hard work and after raising their family, they had been able to build a beautiful home on a hill with a basement large enough to house our raggedy family for several months.

I will never forget the time we spent living with the Steadmans. At first, I was afraid of Lynn. I had grown up with a violent and mentally ill father and did not have much exposure to loving, patient, and caring male mentors. His unwavering kindness soon set me straight, and my family and I came to love and admire both him and Susan, and treasure their friendship.

Thankfully, they not only put up with but welcomed our crazy bunch to their home. We would clean up and sleep in their basement each night and then in the morning, my mom would load us all up in the car and drive the thirty or so miles north to Burley, where we would hang out at the park, buy grocery store food with our food stamps, and try to figure out the next steps for our family.

Eventually, another kind couple we attended church with offered for us to move into a vacant home they owned on a beet farm north of Rupert. We moved in just before Thanksgiving and I got enrolled in the local high school for choir and seminary (a religious class to learn the scriptures). The next year, I went back to school fulltime. Our homeless experience ended there, and although the places my family lived for the next several years were not what you would call luxurious (“sub-standard” was the way my aunt put it), at least they were ours.

As I mentioned at the beginning, I don’t tend to spend too much time thinking about this specific time in my life, but when my sister brought me the photo, some of it came back. Specifically, I remember standing on the Steadman’s porch while one of them took that photo of us, feeling guilty that my family needed so much help and embarrassed that we were the way we were. When we moved from their home, I vowed to do everything I could to someday become like them—to have a heart that would see the needs of others, a home to shelter them in, and selflessness enough to do something like that for someone else.

Miraculously, just a short 18-months later, I was given the opportunity to start on that path. Through what I can only describe as a series of miracles, I was accepted to study at Brigham Young University (BYU) in Provo, Utah, and offered a half-tuition needs-based scholarship. On top of the government grant I also received for school and the part-time early-morning custodial job I got, I was able to go to school and attempt a different path.

The difference that opportunity made in my life (and the subsequent miracles, opportunities, and angels working in my life thereafter, too), cannot be overstated. I would not be where I am today without it, and especially the generous donors to my college aid program. Their influence in my life was like Lynn and Susan’s—they helped save me, and I want to pay them back.

When I entered college, I made a promise to myself to one day fund a scholarship at BYU, which I want to call the “Lynn and Susan Steadman” award. I’m not quite there yet, but each time I am able to make a donation to someone’s college education, I feel a deep sense of gratitude for all the angels who helped—and continue to help—me along the rough roads of life. Their positive influence changed my story, and I hope to someday be found among their likes for someone else. I hope you will, too.

Thanks for reminiscing with me.

Happy legacy-leaving,

Kasia

What I've Learned the Past Three Weeks

kasia@everydaylegacies.com (Kasia Flanagan) — Thu, 09 May 2024 21:15:34 GMT

If you follow me on social media, you may have seen that my mom recently passed away.

She was just fifty-eight years old. Her death was sudden, unexpected, and still feels like a bad joke I can't find the punchline in.

Since her passing, I've found myself processing thoughts and feelings I wasn't ready for. It's taken me a minute to find a path through the sadness, confusion, frustration, and anger. Every day seems to bring it's own new measure of emotions and grief, and I've been advised that I'll likely be facing that for the long haul.

With all these feelings, I think it's natural to have regrets, and I do have some.

I regret times I wasn't as kind as I could have been to my mom, or when I was impatient or quick-tempered. I regret missed opportunities to give her a hug or to call and see how she's doing or tell her I loved her. I know we were both just doing our best, but now, the window for those opportunities has closed forever.

Although those sad thoughts weigh heavily on me, I am grateful that my list of regrets isn't longer. Specifically, I am so grateful that I don't have to regret not having a record of my mom's story, because she wrote one recently.

Although she was only in her mid-fifties at the time, at my request and to contribute to a family history we were putting together, my mom put together an overview of her life, which I then helped her flesh out even more. It is just around ten pages, but it includes details of her early life and parentage, growing up, her marriage to my dad, and her feelings about me and each of my siblings. At the time she wrote it, these things helped me to feel closer to her and answered some questions I had about her life. But now, in her death, they mean even more. Although they are just words on a page (and even although they are things I mostly already knew), to my freshly-grieving heart in her death, they have become gold nuggets--a lifeline that allows me to hear my mom's voice and feel her love again.

As a personal historian, I have long preached that estate plans, wills, and burial directives are not enough. In preparation for the end of our lives, every conscientious person in the world needs to leave three additional things for their posterity :

Your life story , complete with pictures
Your ethical will
You on film

While the importance of preparing for your death financially and legally cannot be overstated, your loss will be most keenly felt personally . The need for something to help fill that chasm when you are gone is huge, and can be summed up in something a woman who hired us to write her parent's stories once said:

"When my parents are gone, I'm not going to want their money, I'm going to want them."

How true that is. In my mom's sudden death, I would rather have her back than any material possession she bequeathed. I am unspeakably grateful she left us the gift of her story. It isn't her, but it helps me feel closer to her and will be a gift to my children as they grow up without their grandma. Along with all of my memories of her, her story is a gift I will treasure forever.

I hope you'll do the same for your family.

Sincerely,

Kasia

Don't Let Someone Else Tell Your Story

kasia@everydaylegacies.com (Kasia Flanagan) — Fri, 12 Apr 2024 16:39:47 GMT

Last week, I had a conversation that really bothered me.

I was speaking with a man about an interfaith dialogue group I am a part of . As a spiritual person and an eager consumer, purveyor, and respecter of personal stories, I am thrilled to have a regular opportunity to listen to and learn from others' spiritual and religious journeys. In fact, I was working on recruiting for the next session of this group when the conversation occurred.

After sharing with the man some benefits I have received from my own engagement with the group, his reply rather shocked me. He said, "I can go online and, after reading for a couple of hours, come away with a pretty good understanding of who someone is and what they think and feel. So why should I spend time talking to people who I already know I have nothing in common with?"

To be honest, I was very taken aback by this attitude. While I think it likely that this man has never been in the position of belonging to a minority or marginalized group before, what really disturbed me was his assumption of understanding after consuming second or even third-hand information.

As a personal historian, I am often asked why someone should take the time to record their story when their kids, spouse, or someone else "already know everything" and can tell it themselves. There is an assumption that, because someone knows someone else, they have the ability to speak for them.

While those close to us likely (should) know us better than others, it's often something we over-presume. Firstly, our kids typically remember far less information than we give them credit for. And secondly, as any even mediocre student of history can tell you, a second-hand source is never going to be as valid as a first-hand report. The fact is, when we haven't lived the story ourselves, our retelling of it is less credible than the person who did.

A funny example from my own life can help illustrate this.

I was home visiting my family when I once overheard a close family member telling someone else about my life. This relative and I grew up together and have always been close, so imagine my surprise when I heard them share details with the other person that were actually not true. While they were able to accurately report some of the bigger events of my life, when it came to answering the "why" questions about my motivations or reasons for doing certain things, their answers were totally news to me. Luckily, I was there and able to offer the truth. Had I not been, the person they were speaking to might have adopted a whole different understanding and idea of me than was actually the case.

Maybe you have been there. Someone who you think knows the ins-and-outs of your story forgets details, misunderstands, or misrepresents aspects of it. Not because they have the intention to misalign you, but because they weren't there or weren't you in those circumstances. The reality is, we are the best tellers of our own story. And if we don't tell our story ourselves, someone else (with limited knowledge) will.

Simple logic--especially that used by the man in my first story--would suggest that second or third-party sources can typically gather enough information to paint an accurate picture of any person. But, as the scenario with my brother illustrated, sometimes, the smallest details are the ones that make the biggest difference.

In the case of the man in the first story I shared, I can't help but think how different his ideas of practitioners of other faiths would be if he allowed them to speak for themselves, rather than solely asking the internet. From the world of history and personal stories, I know for a fact that our perspectives of others change when we get to learn from them, in their own words, who they are.

While your spouse, children, business partners, or parents, or even Google, may be able to answer some questions about your correctly, the details that really matter can be accurately shared by you alone.

Happy sharing,

Kasia

Check Your Nightstand, and Your Playlist

kasia@everydaylegacies.com (Kasia Flanagan) — Fri, 05 Apr 2024 22:02:28 GMT

Years ago, I heard a man named Douglas Callister say something that has stuck with me ever since.

"If we know the books located at the bedside, we know much about the man."

To me, the idea is that the media we consume doesn't only refine ( influence ) us, but it defines ( explains ) us, too.

It's an interesting claim which I believe is true. It's actually related to a question I like to ask in my life story interviews :

What are some books that have been meaningful to you?

As you may imagine, the answers are telling.

Go-getter entrepreneurs, with reams of accomplishments under their belts, often share lists of personal development, business, and leadership books that have shaped their lives.
One client, a lover of travel, history, and nature, named several books about personal journeys and the natural world as being the most impactful.
And, of course, spiritual people often name their holy book(s) as prime sources of influence and inspiration.

The same question can be asked about music, art, or any other consumable media. From a personal history-perspective, the neat thing about naming some of these things that bring you joy is the opportunity it provides for your audience to find deeper connection with you through their own relationship with that thing.

Have you ever experienced that? For me, it happened just the other day.

My girls and I were visiting their nana (my husband's mom) when I thought to ask her about the music she listened to when she was younger. She said that she couldn't remember much music growing up but that as a young adult, she enjoyed listening to Lionel Richie. I immediately smiled when she said that, and instantly felt a new connection to her.

Although Lionel's heyday came before my time, I discovered his album Tuskegee a few years ago and several of the songs on it have become fast favorites. Although I'm not exactly sure what my mother-in-law's consumption of his music looked like, hearing that she enjoyed listening to him helped me to imagine and see her as myself: a young mom, turning on music at the end of a long day to cook dinner and help everyone get through till bedtime. Whether that's how it happened for her or not, since that time, each time I have heard a Lionel Richie song, it's made me think of her.

Funnily enough, it can be just as small of a thing that can help you build connection and inspire legacy with your family too. Try this: make a list of the 'books at your bedside,' or the songs, musicians, authors, speakers, and artists you resonate with. Put it in your personal history. Chances are, even if you don't share a common love for that thing, you will at the very least have created an association to evoke memory, and connection, forevermore.

I'd love to hear your experience if you try it.

Happy connection-finding,

Kasia

How Would You Answer This Question?

kasia@everydaylegacies.com (Kasia Flanagan) — Fri, 15 Mar 2024 21:42:05 GMT

I have learned so much in my life from other cultures. Many of the lessons have come from different Polynesian nations, which I have been privileged to have worked in and around for more than fifteen years.

Last week, I wrote about my experience training at a Marriott resort in Maui, when the HR instructor asked us to identify ourselves by "our" mountain, river, and people. This custom differs slightly between various Polynesian cultures and languages, but most of them have some form of it. In Tongan, for instance, it's called tauhi v ā , which refers to the nurturing of socio-spatial relationships. In practice, part of it means that when you introduce yourself to another Tongan, you do so by sharing your genealogy and kinship-ties, which help the other person understand who you are and where you come from. Sharing one's identity in this way is a telling aspect of Tongan culture, where so much of the value of one's own life comes down to family relations and genealogical ties.

In the Hawaiian version, though, the practice is a little different. Unlike Tongans, who mostly don't have impressive geographical formations in their islands to boast of, Hawaiians use identifiers which are more apropos to their physical homelands. Namely, the Hawaiian archipelago has many mountains that protect, challenge, inspire, and feed their communities. For native Hawaiians, identifying your mountain for another person is sharing the literal rock that helped shape, nourish, shelter, and teach you, which, in turn, helps others to know, and understand you better.

The funny thing is, this exercise also has application to personal history.

Using the Hawaiian version of the practice, let's try a simple exercise:

Think of where you grew up or came of age. What geographical or metaphorical mountains did you have around? What role have they played in your life?

For me, the mountain I identify as "mine" is Mount Timpanogos, the second highest peak in the Wasatch mountain range of Northern Utah. Although I grew up in Idaho, I attended university in Provo, Utah, where "Mt. Timp" towers above the valley like a watchful but austere caregiver.

When I first moved to the area, I was a scared, intimidated seventeen year-old kid. I had missed two years of high school (which put me behind in every subject area besides reading), and had no money, what I considered to be very little family support, and a background and past that were far different from any of the other students I could see. I felt like an imposter in my classes and that I didn't belong altogether. I questioned if I could ever really make it there or be successful.

Thankfully, over the course of the next five years, those feelings gradually improved. I learned to study, to think critically, to write, and to not take others at face value. I became more confident in who I was, gained lifelong friends, and had priceless, life-altering experiences that are impressed on me forever. Truly, those five years changed my life, shaping me for a far different future than I would ever otherwise have had. All the while, Mt. Timp was there, standing as a quiet and stable witness to the growth happening in me. To me, it symbolizes a place that has now become sacred in my memory and for which I feel deeply grateful.

Now it's your turn. What is your mountain? What literal or figurative precipice is important to you, and why? How would you answer these questions, and how would you place yourself in the context of the mountains you have been around?

Your mountain may not actually be in your geographical area, or even anywhere near where you live. In fact, it may not be a mountain at all. Growing up in central Texas, my kids may be more likely to claim the elevated spot of highway near our home as their mountain than they will to latch on to any other real mountain they have yet met. Thus, even if it is a building or church or other figurative mountainous presence in your life, it's important because it represents a force that has shaped you and without which, you would be adrift.

With all these things in mind, I'd love to know, what is your mountain?

Happy mountain-naming,

Kasia

You Are Not Self-Made

kasia@everydaylegacies.com (Kasia Flanagan) — Fri, 15 Mar 2024 21:32:45 GMT

Many years ago, I had an impactful experience that has taught me ever since.

As part of the onboarding process for new employees at a Hawaiian Marriott resort, I and the other members of the cohort were challenged by the HR instructors to introduce ourselves not just by our name, but by our "mountain," our "river," and our "people."

At first, I was confused. I was a young, fresh college graduate, and although I had traveled a fair bit, my experience with non-Western culture was still limited.

Then the HR instructors explained that in Hawaiian culture, mountains, rivers, and tribes were the three things that helped people triangulate each other's identities. The idea is that you belong not just to yourself, but to the people and places who shaped you.

I love this idea. Mainstream culture would have us all feel that we are a product of our own genius. That who we are, and the success we achieve, have little to do with anyone else. The truth that this exercise drives home, however, is that (for better or worse) we are all products of the people who raised us, the places that supported us, and all the people who helped us along the way . It's a great reminder of where you have come from and the people who have invested in you.

This idea can be summed up in a quote that I love:

Everything worthwhile comes with the help of others. Life is a collaborate endeavor, and success--genuine success--is attributable to a lot more people than just you.

-Matthew O. Richardson

Taking the time to identify your mountain, your river, and your tribe is an instructive experience. Not only is it humbling to recount the impact of these things in your life, but it can also be a positive exercise to help you feel closer to the people around you. It then becomes clear that our own legacies are not so much of a single-ingredient success story, but a tapestry woven from the strands of a thousand outside contributors.

Truly, there is no such thing as self-made.

Happy legacy-living,

Kasia

The Magic of Your Love Story

kasia@everydaylegacies.com (Kasia Flanagan) — Fri, 15 Mar 2024 21:20:03 GMT

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, it's a pink and red world out there. And somehow, this week, I managed to spend several interview hours talking with clients about an especially timely (and fun) subject: their love stories.

In the spirit of love in our lives, I hope you'll indulge me this week with a snapshot of my personal story.

My husband and I will celebrate four years of marriage this summer, which makes this our third Valentine's Day together.

When I first fell in love with him, it was all the lovey things.

I wasn't planning to get married anytime soon, I wasn't even looking to seriously date at that moment. He basically came out of the blue into my life to tick all of the boxes I had learned were important through the trial-and-error of previous dating experiences. Although he wasn't what I was looking for at that time, it turned out that he was exactly who I had been looking for all along. He was my match, and as we got to know each other, there were funny things that happened, there were romantic things he did, and there were special experiences I had that confirmed to me that he was the one I wanted to marry.

All of it is something I never want to forget. Somehow, it's made even more special by the years that have succeeded those early. Perhaps no other relationship has as much of an impact on your life as the person or people you fall in love with. In my case, my husband's influence has helped me to become a more laid-back, more loving, and more loyal version of myself than I was before I knew him. His entry into my life is a watershed moment that changed my story forever.

My guess is that when you go to record it, your personal story will, like mine, become at some point thoroughly comingled with the story of your love(s) and their influence in your life. The memories won't always be rose-colored, because life and love aren't only pain-free, top-of-the-mountain experiences. But always, they should be recorded, because failing to share your love story would be the omission of a significant part of who you are and the legacy you are leaving.

My hope for you this week would be that you would take the time to record your love story if you haven't yet, or to write a letter to your spouse that includes some of what you love and appreciate about them. Some questions to get you started are below.

Happy loving and legacy-leaving,

Kasia

When writing about your love story consider including answers to the following questions:

How and when did you meet your spouse?
What made you "click"?
What favorite memories do you have of time you spent together?
Do you have a shared song? If so, what is it and what is the story behind its meaning to you?

What Is Your Quest?

kasia@everydaylegacies.com (Kasia Flanagan) — Fri, 15 Mar 2024 21:14:07 GMT

Do you ever get songs stuck in your head?

I do, all the time, and this week the one that played over and over was " The Impossible Dream ," from the play The Man of La Mancha .

If you've never heard the song, you're missing out. The lyrics are one man's inspiring pledge to his ideals in life--what he calls his "Quest": to live courageously, to treat others well, to act honorably, and to persist through challenges. Then, as part of the song states, he knows he will be able to feel peace and satisfaction with his life when it is over:

I know if I'll only be true

To this glorious quest

That my heart will lie peaceful and calm

When I'm laid to my rest

It's funny how, unknowingly, these words became a summary of some of my work this week.

I was interviewing one of our clients for his part of a history we are writing for his family. By any standard, he is a successful person--he's built or been intrinsically involved in multiple eight- and nine-figure businesses, has amassed an enviable estate, has traveled to some of the most beautiful places in the world, is in great physical shape, and has a strong, loving family. Given his experiences, I was looking forward to hearing his answer to one of my favorite questions to ask:

"What is your purpose in life?"

I learn a lot from working with people like him, and his answer was just as instructive as I expected. "To teach," he said. He then talked about the mentoring he has done throughout his life, with everyone from struggling young boys and college athletes (he has been both), to fathers, entrepreneurs, and others in his church, social, and work circles. As he stated, although he isn’t “finished,” he feels successful because he has been able to make a positive difference in others’ lives.

As you can imagine, this was a wonderful and inspiring thing to hear. For me, it stood in sharp juxtaposition to the situation of another man whose story I worked on last year. In contrast to my current client, this first man was about 400 million dollars richer (really), but about that much more miserable. As he told his story, he had lived his life in pursuit of money and the respect and influence he felt had been denied him as a child. Now, in what is likely to be the final chapter of his life, he is about as insecure and unfulfilled as anyone I have ever met.

The differences between these two men and their situations is telling. While one has lived in alignment with a higher purpose, the other focused only on himself. While one had a quest to strive for, the other had only a fight to be on top. Consequently, one experiences peace, joy, and satisfaction with his life, while the other still feels like he missed his shot at happiness. While one is wealthy and fulfilled, the other is just wealthy.

Again, I think of the lyrics of the song. The truth is that money is not your most important legacy. Instead, it's having something noble to strive for that gives us a sense of purpose and direction while we are living, and a sense of peace and satisfaction when we come to the end. On the other hand, if we live only for ourselves, we ultimately flounder.

For those reading this, who are conscious of their legacy, it's an important point. And I'm here to tell you that even if you feel you have missed your chance to pursue a noble quest, you have not. The reality is that no matter how you feel you have lived up to this point, there is time to adjust . While you are still on this side of the clouds, there is always the opportunity to adopt a higher purpose or to refocus yourself on the one you have . As I can tell you from the experience of working with these men and others, it will make a world of difference to your story.

Happy purpose-living and legacy-leaving,

Kasia

What Is Your Mountain?

kasia@everydaylegacies.com (Kasia Flanagan) — Fri, 15 Mar 2024 20:53:15 GMT

One of the things I love the most about my job is the perspective it brings.

Every day, I get to sit and hear the stories of remarkable men and women who are typically further down the road of life than me. As they share their experiences, I am offered a front-row seat to invaluable life lessons that benefit me in many ways.

One of those struck me this week.

At this stage of my life, I am juggling what often feels like a mountain of tasks and responsibilities related to the different hats I'm currently wearing. These include:

running and growing my business
being the wife of another entrepreneur (my husband is a roofing professional and runs his own dirt work business)
being a step-mom to two preteens (pray for us!) and mom to a little baby
running our household
serving at church
trying to meet personal goals and just be human

All of it can feel very overwhelming and like something I just have to power-through each day.

But something happened last week that helped to shift that feeling for me.

While interviewing a family story client about her life, I was struck by the loving and wistful way she talked about the days of having her young children at home. As the wife of a busy businessman who was often out of town for work, the bulk of caring for their young family was on her shoulders. Between kids sports and activities, family events, other commitments, and personal health challenges she faced, she often had so much going on that she could barely keep up. Added to it the funny fact that her husband was almost always away when major crises happened, the whole story is one of challenge and struggle through the rocky terrain of parenthood and life.

And yet, despite the many difficulties she recounted, I was struck by how my client talked about them. Instead of sounding happy that those days are over, she talked as though she missed them. It impressed me that she considers the early years of their family--including the challenges--among the best of her life.

That was an important message for me to hear. Too often these days, I am caught up in the busyness of the time, with stress from kids, work, family, and lack of sleep overwhelming me. I'm sad to admit that I generally spend a lot more time dreaming about the future (and these days being past us), than I do being grateful for the present. Thinking about this made me ask myself a question that I now pass on to you:

What have been the best days of your life?

If you're like me, it's difficult to pick a single period of my life as the highlight. Instead, when I think about it, I'm flooded with gratitude and joy for memories of several different times: my time in college, being a young-adult, the era of getting my PhD and traveling the world, and the time I spent dating my husband.

Looking back, I seem to remember that none of those periods were without challenges (sometimes very big ones), but instead of the difficulties, my memory is dominated by the good times of those experiences. This exercise reminded me that now--today--this moment is someday going to be part of a time I consider as one of the best days of my life. Sometime soon the tiredness, the little annoyances, the stress, and the challenges of today are all going to pale in comparison to my memories of all the precious other things: the excitement of growing my business, the joy of serving new clients, the sweet snuggles of my baby and kids, and the amazing growth of working side-by-side with my husband to build our dreams.

How grateful I feel for the perspective from my client's story, to help me appreciate it all more.

Happy living,

Kasia

Celebrating Four Years!

kasia@everydaylegacies.com (Kasia Flanagan) — Fri, 15 Mar 2024 20:43:20 GMT

Two weeks ago, I realized with a shock that I had almost overlooked a very special day.

Four years ago, on 1 March 2020, I left professional historical research and writing behind and officially founded this personal history company, Everyday Legacies.

It had been a long time coming. For years, I had wrestled with questions about my professional purpose in life. I'm a spiritual person, and I had always felt that I had something specific to do in the world—a mission, if you will. I had worked for other companies and been successful—moving quickly to higher positions, earning raises and more responsibilities, etc.—but none had ever felt like the right fit for my future.

Then, I went back to school. I spent three-and-a-half years at the University of Auckland in New Zealand working on my PhD, all the while questioning what the end result would be. I loved teaching, but professorship didn't fit. I loved learning, but Academia didn't suit.

My research, on the other hand, fascinated me. While studying the history of Germans in the South Pacific, I came to appreciate the ways that individual human beings shape the story of the world. In fact, History really just comes down to the individual stories of people, the decisions they made, and the results of those decisions.

What was even more impactful to me was recognizing the influence a family story can have on an individual. After interviewing hundreds of people over the years, I came to learn, as other researchers have, that there is a direct positive correlation between how much a person knows about their own history and their success in life.

In fact, the research shows that sharing family stories is a key to shaping resilient, empathetic, connected, mentally and emotionally healthy, and culturally-strong children. I don't know about you, but for me, in a world plagued by anxiety, defeatism, division, and lack of family cohesion on every side (not to mention how 90% of families lose their wealth, status, businesses, or culture within three generations ), if something as simple as sharing stories can help, I want to do it.

Even with this knowledge and passion under my belt, I was hesitant, for a long time, to start my own business. Being an entrepreneur is scary, and I wasn't sure I would have what it takes to deal with the challenges of building a company (especially in a small, virtually unknown field) from the ground up.

Fittingly, my own family history helped me find the courage. You see, I grew up hearing the stories of my parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents who, in their own ways, had to overcome major challenges to succeed in their lives. Because I know their stories, I can draw on their strength and the things they taught me about hard work, integrity, and faith.

Their examples, among other things, helped me muster the courage—after finishing my last big research project in 2019, I finally hung my "personal historian" shingle four years ago last week.

As you can probably imagine, it was an interesting time to get started. I could write more about what starting a business just before the pandemic was like, but I will save that for another post. Suffice it to say, I'm grateful to still be here, four years later, now with a wonderful team to work with and with a lineup of incredible clients, past and current, to be able to serve.

It's been a great journey so far, and there's so much still ahead. Thank you for allowing us to support you in your story, by supporting us in ours.

With gratitude,

Kasia

Unleashing the Power of Gratitude: Crafting the Perfect Thank You Note

kasia@everydaylegacies.com (Kasia Flanagan) — Fri, 10 Nov 2023 17:16:41 GMT

In our fast-paced world, where messages often whiz by in the blink of an eye, thoughtfully expressing gratitude through a well-crafted thank you note stands out as an act of sincerity.

There is a tipping point in expressing gratitude that can transform relationships and elevate personal and professional connections to new heights.

Research indicates that expressing gratitude isn't merely a social nicety; it's a potent force with positive impacts on mental and physical well-being. Psychologist Robert Emmons notes, "Gratitude works because, as a way of perceiving and interpreting life, it recruits other positive emotions that have direct physical benefits." Gratitude, it seems, has a ripple effect, amplifying the goodness in our lives.

Being thankful can be the tipping point that transforms our interactions with others and the way we feel about the experiences we have. One way to express that thankfulness is through write a thank you note.

How to write a good thank you note:

Be Genuine

Authenticity is key. Let your gratitude flow naturally. A heartfelt thank you note resonates far more than a generic expression of thanks.

Specificity Matters

When expressing gratitude, be specific about what you're thankful for. Whether it's a thoughtful gift, a gesture of kindness, or support during a challenging time, specificity adds depth and sincerity to your message.

Timing is Crucial

Send your thank you note promptly. The impact is more significant when the memory is fresh in both your mind and the recipient's.

Highlight the Connection

Emphasize the connection between the act of kindness and its impact on you. This not only shows appreciation but also reinforces the positive aspects of your relationship.

Expressing gratitude is a transformative act that creates a positive ripple effect. Small, meaningful gestures contribute to a more harmonious world and foster stronger connections.

In the words of Melody Beattie, "Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." Embrace the power of gratitude, make writing the perfect thank you note a habit, and contribute to the positive tipping points that shape the world around us.

Smart Strategies to Save Money on Writing Your Life Story

kasia@everydaylegacies.com (Kasia Flanagan) — Mon, 16 Oct 2023 15:45:00 GMT

While hiring a professional personal historian can be a costly endeavor, there are ways to make it more affordable and accessible.

Last week, our blog post focused on answering the ever-popular question, how much does it cost to write my life story? As mentioned in that article, many factors influence the cost of a professional personal history, including the skill level of the person doing the work, the scope of the project, and the timeline associated with it.

While investing in this precious endeavor is invaluable, at Everyday Legacies, we understand the importance of budget considerations. That is why we offer hourly billing for our projects * ensuring a tailored and affordable experience for our clients. But there are still ways to save money while preserving your cherished memories. In this blog post, we will explore how you can make the process more budget-friendly and still create a meaningful personal history.

Define Your Vision :

Having a clear vision of what you want to achieve is the first step to saving money when hiring a personal historian. Clearly communicate your goals, the scope of the project, and the expected outcome from the very beginning. This clarity will help your historian understand your vision and reduce the need for revisions or changes later on, saving both time and money.

Be Prepared :

One of the key ways to streamline the personal history process and reduce costs is to be well-prepared for your interviews. Organize your thoughts, collect relevant documents, and gather photographs that are important to your story. When you come to the table with a structured narrative and supporting materials, it will make the historian's job easier and require fewer interviews. This can significantly impact the overall project cost.

Focus on Essential Services :

While personal historians offer a range of services, it's essential to focus on what's most important to you to keep costs in check. Start by selecting the essential services that align with your vision and goals. You can always add additional services or embellishments at a later stage when your budget allows for it. Prioritizing the core elements of your project will help ensure you're investing wisely and keeping costs manageable.

DIY Approach :

Consider taking a more active role in the project by collecting and organizing the information yourself. Write down your memories, create a rough draft, or even conduct preliminary interviews with family members. You can then hire a personal historian for specific tasks such as editing, formatting, or organizing the content, which can be more cost-effective than a full-service package.

Collaborate with a Professional for Specific Tasks :

You don't have to hand over the entire project to a personal historian. You can collaborate by having the professional assist with specific aspects, such as editing, formatting, or interviewing techniques. This way, you can save money while still benefiting from their expertise where it matters most.

Utilize Self-Publishing Platforms :

If your goal is to create a book, consider self-publishing platforms that allow you to create your memoir or family history book independently. This can be a cost-effective way to turn your written content into a tangible product. You can hire a professional historian for guidance on structuring your narrative or for the final editing touches.

Group Projects :

If you have several family members interested in preserving their personal histories, consider creating a group project. Personal historians often offer discounts for multiple projects, so pooling resources with others can be a great way to save money while still achieving your individual goals.

Explore Nonprofit or Volunteer Options :

Some nonprofit organizations and volunteers offer personal history services at reduced rates or even for free. While these options may not provide the same level of customization as a professional personal historian, they can be a more budget-friendly way to capture your life story.

Creating a personal history is a wonderful way to preserve your memories and stories for future generations. While it's an investment, there are practical steps you can take to make the process more budget-friendly. By defining your vision, being well-prepared, focusing on essential services, and considering DIY approaches or collaboration, you can save money when hiring a professional personal historian without compromising the quality and value of your personal history project. At Everyday Legacies, we're here to help you make your dream of preserving your stories a reality, tailored to your budget and vision.

*Except our 2-hour memoir, which is billed as a flat-rate package.

How Much Does it Cost to Write Your Life Story: Investing in Lasting Benefits for Future Generations

kasia@everydaylegacies.com (Kasia Flanagan) — Wed, 11 Oct 2023 13:04:08 GMT

If you are interested in hiring a professional to help you write your life story, the next natural question is to wonder how much it would cost. This post is intended to draw back the curtain as to what you might expect to pay.

In today's fast-paced world, where memories easily fade and are forgotten, the services of a professional personal historian have gained immense popularity. However, embarking on this journey comes with a price tag, and--depending on a number of factors--it's one that can vary significantly. In this blog post, we will delve into the cost of a professional personal history, explore factors influencing the price, and provide insights into what you can expect when hiring a personal historian.

What Are the Most Popular Personal History Projects?

Before diving into the costs, it's essential to understand the varying types and scopes of personal history projects. The following are some popular options for projects, with a short description of the end result you might expect:

Life Overview

Ranging anywhere from a few paragraphs to a few pages of information, an overview project captures the simple essence of someone's life. Often used for funerals or in family collections, an overview can be a great option for someone whose main concern is budget or time. Depending on the personal historian hired to write the overview, the project may or may not include interviews.

Life Sketch

Typically longer than a basic overview, a life sketch is still a great option for those looking for something quicker and more budget-friendly than a more in-depth project. These packages tend to include 4-8 hours of interviews and result in finished pieces of anywhere between 6000-12000 words (tip: page count will always be determined more by the size of the printed book than the amount of words in the story).

Highlight Reel

As a work that captures the major moments, rather than the chronological story, of your life, a highlight reel is a great option for those who have specific stories in mind but don't want the pressure of including everything. The size and scope of highlight reels can vary greatly, depending on how much information you want to include. Examples of highlight reels could be your spiritual life, your career journey, your love story/family memories, your travel experiences, health challenges, etc.

Life Story

Also known as a memoir or auto/biography, a life story is the feature-film version of your life. The main difference between a life sketch and a life story is the scope--a life story generally requires 10-20 hours of interviews and results in finished products of 25,000-50,000+ words.

Family Histories

Family history books vary from straight genealogy but can include genealogical information as part of the story. These works generally include life sketches of each member of a family, from the parents to the children. They are fantastic documents that help to capture not only the personalities of individual family members, but of the shared family culture, memories, traditions, recipes, and other things which make the family unique (games, songs, etc.). Because they generally include multiple narrators, interviews, and the weaving together of a host of outside information, family histories are among the larger, more involved projects offered by personal historians and often range anywhere from 15,000 to 90,000+ words.

Company Histories

Depending on the age and complexity of the company and the desired outcome as far as a history goes, company history projects can also be involved and complex.

Other Personal History Options

While the options above cover many of the more popular and prevalent options offered by many personal historians, other types of projects are possible. For instance, photo books, recipe collections, tribute/memory books , ethical wills/legacy letters , and audio and video histories are a few of the other options you might be interested in. Again, the price tag on these projects vary but overall, it's important to remember that for most professionals, the scope of a project is generally what most affects how much it will cost.

How Much Does it Cost to Write My Life Story?

The cost of a professional personal history can vary widely, primarily based on the project's scope, the professional's expertise, and the services included. Professionals will usually bill based either on a flat-rate fee agreement or on an hourly basis based on an initial understanding of the scope of the project. For the above-mentioned projects, here are some general cost ranges you can expect to see:

Life Overview : A few hundred to a few thousand dollars

Life Sketch: Typically ranging from $1000-$10,000

Life Stories : $15,000 to $100,000+

Family Histories : $12,000 to $80,000+

Company Histories: $10,000 to $60,000+

Other Projects : $500 to $15,000+

Why Does it Cost So Much to Write My Life Story?

Although it may seem expensive, the cost of a life story or personal history project is often more understandable when you consider all that goes into its creation.

What Influences the Cost of a Life Story?

Several factors influence the cost of a professional personal history project. It's important to consider these elements when making your decision:

Scope and Complexity : As previously mentioned, the scope and complexity of the project are significant cost determinants. The more comprehensive the project, the higher the price.

Professional's Expertise : Experienced personal historians with a proven track record may charge higher rates due to their expertise. Newer professionals, while more affordable, might lack the same level of experience.

Additional Services : The inclusion of extra services such as photography, videography, transcription, and editing can substantially increase the project cost. These services contribute to the overall quality of the personal history but also come with additional expenses.

Number of Interviews : The number of interviews conducted is a crucial aspect of personal history projects. Extensive interviews and research will naturally raise the cost. A basic life story interview package will typically include fewer interviews than a comprehensive project.

How Much Does it Cost to Write My Life Story With Everyday Legacies

Here at Everyday Legacies, we offer every type of personal history project , from basic life overviews to extremely detailed, in-depth memoirs and biographies. Far from being newbies, our teams are experienced professionals whom you can expect to provide the best quality production and service, yet we are priced so as to be accessible to a wide range of budgets and financial situations, ensuring that everyone has the opportunity to preserve their cherished stories and family legacies for generations to come .

Instead of charging flat rates, which often come with huge built-in price buffers to protect the professional, to provide the best value to our clients, Everyday Legacies' projects are all charged at a simple hourly rate, with average total prices falling in the following ranges:

Basic Life Story Interview Package: $1,200

Life Sketch: $3,200-$8,000

Memoir/Tribute Book: $2000-$3500

Photo book: $3500-$12,000

Highlight Reel: $12,000-$15,000

Life Story: $22,000-$38,000

Family History: $20,000-$45,000

What Questions Should You Ask a Personal Historian in Your Initial Consultation

Most professional historians will offer a free consultation and project quote before beginning a project. Once you have made your vision clear, make sure to ask them informed questions about their approach, including how many interviews they expect to do, their proposed timeline, and what, if any (and how many), outside resources you can include (i.e. photos, journal entries, etc.). To ensure that they are a good fit for what you are looking for, ask to see examples of their previous work, including their portfolio. Any professional historian should be able to provide all this information quickly, helping you weed out options and find the best fit for what you are looking for.

Ultimately, the cost of a professional personal history is an investment in preserving the memories and narratives that make our lives uniquely special. It's up to you to decide if it's worth it.

Crafting Your Personal Mission Statement: A Path to Purpose and Legacy

kasia@everydaylegacies.com (Kasia Flanagan) — Wed, 04 Oct 2023 14:37:52 GMT

In the labyrinth of life, where the path often seems uncertain and the destination elusive, crafting a personal mission statement can serve as your guiding star, illuminating the way forward.

As Steven Covey, the renowned author of "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People," once said, "Begin with the end in mind." Your personal mission statement is the compass that points you toward a purposeful life, helping you make meaningful decisions and navigate the complexities of existence.

Why Create a Personal Mission Statement?

In a world brimming with distractions and endless possibilities, having a personal mission statement can provide clarity and direction. It acts as a north star, keeping you on course even when life's turbulence threatens to throw you off balance. Covey's wisdom on the subject resonates profoundly: "The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule but to schedule your priorities."

Let's embark on the journey of crafting your own personal mission statement, inspired by Covey's timeless principles.

Step 1: Self-Reflection

To begin, take a step back and engage in deep self-reflection. Ask yourself fundamental questions like:

What are my core values?
What brings me the most joy and fulfillment?
How do I want to be remembered by others?
What are the things that truly matter to me?

Covey encourages us to "Be sure that, as you scramble up the ladder of success, it is leaning against the right building." In other words, ensure your goals align with your values and true aspirations.

Step 2: Define Your Roles

Identify the various roles you play in life. Whether it's as a parent, spouse, friend, or professional, acknowledge these roles as they are integral to your personal mission. Covey emphasizes this by saying, "To live with purpose and meaning, you need to integrate all aspects of your life."

Step 3: Craft Your Statement

Now, it's time to distill your reflections and role definitions into a concise and powerful personal mission statement. This statement should encapsulate your values, aspirations, and the principles that will guide your decisions. Covey advises us to "Live out of your imagination, not your history." In essence, don't let your past define your future; instead, let your vision guide you.

Your personal mission statement should be:

Concise : Keep it brief and to the point.
Inspiring : It should motivate and excite you.
Clear : Ensure it is easily understood.
Timeless : It should remain relevant throughout your life.
Specific : Make it unique to you and your journey.

Step 4: Revise and Refine

Crafting a personal mission statement is an iterative process. Take the time to revise and refine your statement until it feels just right. Remember Covey's wisdom: "Most of us spend too much time on what is urgent and not enough time on what is important." Your personal mission statement is essential, so invest the time needed to get it right.

Step 5: Live Your Mission

Once you've crafted your personal mission statement, integrate it into your daily life. Use it as a guidepost for making decisions, setting goals, and prioritizing your time. Covey's words remind us of the importance of living in alignment with our mission: "The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing."

Inspiring Future Generations

Documenting your personal mission statement in your personal history is an act of profound significance. It not only serves as a guide for your own life but also becomes a beacon of inspiration for future generations. Your documented mission statement can:

Pass on Wisdom : As Covey said, "Live, love, laugh, leave a legacy." By documenting your mission, you leave behind a valuable legacy of your wisdom, values, and life principles that can guide your descendants.
Inspire Purpose : Your mission statement can inspire your children, grandchildren, and others to discover their own sense of purpose and direction in life. It can ignite their aspirations and help them prioritize what truly matters.
Create a Family Tradition : Incorporating personal mission statements into your family's history can become a meaningful tradition. It fosters open discussions about values and aspirations, strengthening family bonds.
Showcase Growth : Over time, your mission statement may evolve as you learn and grow. Documenting these changes can be a testament to personal development and adaptation—a lesson for future generations in embracing change.

In conclusion, crafting a personal mission statement is a powerful tool for living a purpose-driven life. Documenting it in your personal history adds an extra layer of significance, inspiring and guiding future generations. As you embark on this journey of self-discovery, remember Covey's words: "Personal leadership is the process of keeping your vision and values before you and aligning your life to be congruent with them." By doing so, you not only lead yourself but also light the way for those who follow in your footsteps, ensuring that your legacy endures through time.

The Hard Times: How to Write About Traumatic Experiences

kasia@everydaylegacies.com (Kasia Flanagan) — Mon, 25 Sep 2023 19:45:37 GMT

Life is perfect for no one. While it can be filled with moments of joy, triumph, and love, it can also take us through dark and challenging times that leave lasting scars on our souls. Many of us carry the weight of traumatic experiences, and aren't sure how to address them when it comes to sharing our story. Following are some ideas for helping you tell your story authentically, in a positive and healthy way.

Every experience you endure becomes part of your life story. In this blog post, we will firstly explore the benefits of writing about traumatic experiences and secondly, offer some ideas for how to do so in a positive, encouraging, and honest way. The most important thing about recording your life story is to share you hard-won wisdom, for your own healing and with the perspective to lend a helping hand to others facing similar struggles. You never know when your life experience will become someone else's lifeline.

Writing as Catharsis

Writing is an incredible cathartic process that allows us to release pent-up emotions, thoughts, and memories. It provides a safe space to confront and process emotions that may have been buried for years. Through writing, you can release pent-up feelings of anger, grief, and fear, which can be profoundly healing. As the famous poet Maya Angelou once said, "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." Through writing, we can give voice to our pain, fears, and hopes, freeing ourselves from the heavy burden of the unspoken. In fact, writing can be such a therapeutic process that it is often employed as a tool in mental illness treatment programs.

Self-Reflection and Healing

Writing about traumatic experiences doesn't only allow us to get the hard stuff out. In addition to the cathartic elements, recording our hard times enables us to gain a deeper understanding of ourselves. By putting our thoughts on paper, we begin to unravel the complexity of our emotions and gain clarity about the events that have shaped us. This self-reflection is a crucial step towards healing and personal growth.

Psychologist James Pennebaker, a pioneer in the field of expressive writing, has shown that writing about trauma can lead to significant improvements in mental and physical well-being . It can reduce symptoms of depression, anxiety, and even boost the immune system.

Connecting with Others

Aside from the personal benefits of telling our true story, one of the most profound aspects of sharing our experiences is the connection it fosters with others. When we open up about our true experiences--even the hardest ones--we often find that we are not alone in our struggles. Our stories help us to connect to others who may have faced similar challenges, creating a sense of solidarity and empathy.

In the words of Brené Brown, a renowned vulnerability researcher, "Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome." Sharing our hardships is an act of courage that can inspire others to do the same.

Throwing a Lifeline

When we write about our traumatic experiences, we become beacons of hope for those who are currently in the throes of their own struggles. Our stories can offer comfort, guidance, and reassurance that healing is possible. They remind others that they too can overcome adversity.

As the acclaimed author Anne Lamott puts it, "You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories." Writing about trauma isn't about blame; it's about healing and helping.

Tips for Writing About Traumatic Experiences

With all of the research and resources on this topic, the next step in telling your true story (trauma and all), for your own and for others' benefits, is knowing how to address it in such a way as to be helpful and purposeful, and not to come across as just "spewing," venting, or angry. Following are some ideas that may be helpful:

Start with Self-Compassion

Begin by acknowledging that you are writing for yourself first. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself as you relive difficult moments. Self-compassion is the foundation upon which you can build a healing and powerful narrative.

Find Your Authentic Voice

Write in a way that feels authentic to you. Don't feel pressured to conform to a particular writing style or structure. Whether it's through poetry, journaling, or memoir, find the medium that best suits your story.

Seek Support

Writing about trauma can be emotionally challenging. Don't hesitate to seek support from a therapist, counselor, or support group if needed. These resources can provide guidance and a safe space to process your emotions even as you record them for others.

Focus on Resilience and Growth

While it's essential to acknowledge the pain you have experienced, the power of that pain is found as you place the emphasis on your growth and resilience. As you tell your story, highlight the lessons learned, the strength gained, and the positive changes that have emerged from your experiences. Remember, the power of personal history is less about telling--or dwelling--on the dark details of hard experiences, and more about drawing the lessons from them.

Respect Your Boundaries

It can take profound courage and great emotional effort to acknowledge--and record--the hard parts of your life. Always remember that ultimately, you have complete freedom to choose how much you want to share and with whom . Respect your own boundaries and only reveal what feels comfortable for you. Your life story doesn't have to be a sensational, "tell-all" blockbuster to be a powerful and instructive benefit to others.

Conclusion

Every experience, no matter how traumatic, contributes to the unique tapestry of your life story. By writing about these experiences in a positive, encouraging, and honest way, you not only move toward healing yourself but also extend a helping hand to others who may be facing similar struggles. Your words and example can become a lifeline, offering hope and inspiration to those in need. Remember, your life experience is a testament to your strength and resilience, and it has the power to inspire and uplift others on their own journeys of healing and self-discovery. So, embrace the transformative power of storytelling-- pick up that pen or keyboard and start writing your story. Your words have the power to heal and inspire, both you and others.

Tips For Overcoming Procrastination When it Comes to Writing Your Personal History

kasia@everydaylegacies.com (Kasia Flanagan) — Wed, 20 Sep 2023 17:02:44 GMT

Do you ever find yourself itching to document your life story, but somehow, the blank pages on your computer or the pristine journal you bought months ago remain untouched? Don't worry; you're not alone!

Procrastination can be a formidable opponent when it comes to capturing your personal history. But fear not, we're here to help you kickstart this exciting journey and make your story an enduring legacy.

In this blog post, we'll explore 10 tips that will help you overcome procrastination and get those cherished memories down on paper.

1. Set Clear Goals

Begin by defining your objectives. Do you want to write a memoir, a family history, or simply document your life experiences? Establishing clear goals will give your project purpose and direction, making it easier to tackle. As Jordan Belfort said, "The only thing standing between you and your goal is the story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it."

2. Create a Schedule

Allocate specific blocks of time in your calendar dedicated to personal history writing. Treat these appointments with the same importance as any other commitment.

3. Start Small

Don't overwhelm yourself with the thought of writing an entire book at once. Begin with short anecdotes, a favorite childhood memory, or a special family event. These smaller pieces can later be woven into a larger narrative.

4. Gather Your Resources

Collect photographs, letters, diaries, and any other materials that can aid in your storytelling. These items can spark memories and provide valuable context.

5. Find Your Writing Nook

Create a comfortable and inspiring writing space. Whether it's a cozy corner, an internet cafe, or your favorite park bench, having a designated place for writing can help get your creative juices flowing.

6. Eliminate Distractions

Turn off notifications, close unnecessary tabs on your computer, and put your phone on silent. Distractions can be the arch-nemesis of productivity.

7. Set Realistic Deadlines

Break your project into smaller, manageable tasks with realistic deadlines. Completing these mini-goals will give you a sense of accomplishment and motivation to continue.

8. Use Writing Prompts

Stuck on where to start? Writing prompts can provide a helpful nudge in the right direction. There are numerous books and websites filled with prompts tailored to personal history writing. Feel free to check out our free downloadable writing prompts at everydaylegacies.com.

9. Share Your Progress

Tell friends and family about your project. Their encouragement and interest can motivate you to stay on track. You might even discover additional stories or details from their perspectives.

10. Seek Professional Help

If you find procrastination too difficult to conquer on your own, consider enlisting the help of a personal historian or writing coach. They can provide guidance, structure, and accountability.

Remember, the goal of preserving your personal history is not just to pass down stories but to cherish your own life journey. Anaïs Nin said, "We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect." Don't let procrastination steal the opportunity to share your unique experiences with future generations.

By following these 10 tips, you'll be well on your way to becoming the historian you've aspired to be and leaving your legacy for generations to come. Embrace the process, enjoy the ride, and let your personal history come to life. Happy writing!

And there you have it! With these tips in your arsenal, procrastination doesn't stand a chance against your determination to preserve your personal history. Start today, and let the pages of your life story unfold. Your legacy awaits!

Do They Know? - Questions to Answer in Your Personal History

kasia@everydaylegacies.com (Kasia Flanagan) — Mon, 11 Sep 2023 16:00:00 GMT

Have you ever stopped to think about the incredible stories and experiences that reside within your own family? It's fascinating how each member carries a unique thread of history that weaves into a tapestry of shared memories. And you may not realize it, but those stories – even the simple ones, like where you grew up and what you enjoyed as a child – can be the building blocks of identity that give your children and grandchildren the ability to cope with their lives.

Do They Know? The Hidden Chapters of Your Life

So the question is, how much do your children/grandchildren/friends/family actually know about you?

Whether you think your loved ones are well-versed in your story or not, there is actually an easy way to gauge how much they know. It is by asking them a series of 20 simple questions – the same questions as those used by Emory University researchers in 2010 to gauge emotional wellbeing and resilience in children. You can find a free download of the questions, adapted for use in your personal history, here . In addition, read below for some extra questions to ponder and share with your family.

1. What Are Your Dreams and Aspirations?
Your dreams and aspirations are what make you, well, you. Remember that dream you had when you were younger? Or the passion you pursued against all odds? Sharing these dreams and the journey to achieving them can be a wonderful source of inspiration for generations that follow.

2. How Have You Overcome Challenges?
Life isn't always smooth sailing, right? Think about those tough times you've faced, the hurdles you've overcome. Your unique approach to challenges and the strategies you've used can be a guiding light for your family. It's like giving them a roadmap to navigate their own difficulties. In fact, studies have shown that knowing stories from their own family history of struggles that have been overcome was named as the single greatest indicator of resilience in children and adolescents.

3. What Changes Have You Lived Through?
You've lived through eras of change, witnessing history unfold before your eyes. From technological revolutions to cultural shifts, your experiences hold a valuable perspective on how the world has transformed. Sharing these moments bridges the gap between generations and gives context to the present.

4. Who Inspired You Along the Way?
We all have people who've left a mark on us, who've shaped our values and beliefs. Sharing stories of those who've influenced you not only helps your loved ones understand you better, but it also connects them to a wider circle of influences that have shaped your family's journey. In the words of Mahatma Gandhi, "My life is my message."

5. What Love Stories Have Defined Your Life?
Love is a cornerstone of family history, revealing the dynamics that bind individuals together. Your love story – how you met, the challenges you faced and overcame, and the enduring bond you share – is a testament to the power of relationships. These stories of love and commitment can provide guidance, warmth, and strength for generations to come.

6. What Makes Your Heart Sing?
Remember the hobbies and passions you've nurtured over the years? They're not just hobbies; they're a part of what makes you unique. Sharing these passions paints a vivid picture of your personality and can inspire others to explore their own interests fearlessly.

7. If You Could Give One Piece of Advice...

Imagine distilling a lifetime of experience into a single piece of advice. What would it be? Your wisdom, born from living a life rich in experiences, can serve as a guiding star for those who will carry your legacy forward.

The stories that make up your life are more than just personal anecdotes. They're threads that connect you to your family's tapestry of history and shape your identity and understanding of your place in the world. By sharing your experiences, dreams, challenges, and joys, you're offering a priceless gift to your loved ones. Your legacy isn't about leaving the past behind; it's about paving a path for the future, ensuring that your family has what they need to succeed.

The Power of Storytelling: How Stories Connect Us

kasia@everydaylegacies.com (Kasia Flanagan) — Mon, 04 Sep 2023 16:00:00 GMT

From the beginning of time, stories have been the threads that connect us as human beings, weaving together the tapestry of human history. In this digital age, where personal connections can sometimes feel distant, the importance of storytelling and preserving our personal histories has never been more important. Join us as we delve into the power of storytelling and explore how it connects us all.

The Universal Language of Stories:

Stories transcend borders, cultures, and time. They are a universal language that binds us together, reminding us of our shared humanity. Whether we listen to an ancient myth, read a captivating novel, or hear a personal anecdote, stories have the power to evoke emotions, spark imaginations, and foster empathy. By sharing our stories, we create bridges that connect us to others, fostering a sense of belonging and understanding.

Building Personal Connections:

When we share our stories, we invite others into our lives. Personal experiences, triumphs, and even struggles can resonate with someone who has walked a similar path. By opening up and revealing our vulnerabilities, we create opportunities for empathy and support. Stories have the remarkable ability to break down barriers, connecting individuals from diverse backgrounds and creating a sense of unity.

Preserving Family and Cultural Heritage:

Our personal histories are precious treasures that deserve to be preserved. Through storytelling, we honor our ancestors, pass down family traditions, and preserve cultural heritage. When we share tales of our ancestors' triumphs and challenges, we instill a sense of pride and identity in future generations. By preserving our stories, we ensure that our legacies endure, connecting us to our roots and shaping our future.

Inspiring and Empowering Others:

Stories have the power to inspire and empower. When we hear about someone's journey of triumph over adversity or their pursuit of a dream, it ignites a spark within us. Stories connect us to our aspirations and remind us that we are capable of overcoming obstacles. By sharing our stories of personal growth and transformation, we encourage others to embark on their own journeys, creating a ripple effect of empowerment and positive change.

Strengthening Communities and Creating Change :

Stories can galvanize communities and ignite social change. When we listen to the stories of marginalized voices or share our own experiences of injustice, we shed light on important social issues. By connecting through these stories, we create a collective voice that demands action and promotes inclusivity. Through storytelling, we can bridge gaps, challenge stereotypes, and foster a sense of unity that can bring about meaningful change.

At Everyday Legacies, we believe that stories have the power to connect us, inspire us, and shape our shared future. They serve as bridges that span generations, cultures, and experiences. Through the act of storytelling, we weave together the threads of our collective history, celebrating our diversity and finding common ground. So, let us embrace the power of storytelling and preserve our personal histories, for in doing so, we create lasting legacies that will continue to connect and inspire generations to come.

Remember, at Everyday Legacies, we are here to help you preserve and share your personal history. Contact us today to start capturing and celebrating your unique story.

Your Family Isn't Your Only Beneficiary

kasia@everydaylegacies.com (Kasia Flanagan) — Wed, 30 Aug 2023 17:43:08 GMT

So much of the time, the topic of legacy-leaving revolves around your own future generations. In that case, it's easy to question why writing your personal history is important if you don't have children or grandchildren to leave it to. However, the impact of your life story extends far beyond the confines of your immediate family. Here's why everyone should consider documenting their life story, regardless of whether they have direct descendants or not.

Beyond Bloodlines: Our Circle of Influence

The influence we exert during our lifetime goes well beyond our own family tree. Our actions, experiences, and perspectives can touch the lives of friends, colleagues, and even acquaintances in profound ways. The wisdom you've gained, the lessons you've learned, and the challenges you've overcome are valuable insights that can inspire and guide others. Your life story can serve as a source of motivation and understanding for anyone who comes across it.

A Gap that Can Never be Filled

When you choose not to write your life story, you leave behind a void that cannot be entirely filled by outside sources. Your unique voice, experiences, and emotions are irreplaceable. Loved ones and friends may have memories, but these might fade over time. By documenting your story, you ensure that your perspective remains alive and vibrant, preserving a part of your essence for those who care about you.

Poll Your Family and Friends

Here's an exercise that may be eye-opening for you: if you are questioning the need to document your story, send a message to your closest friends and family and ask them, would they be interested in reading your story? You might be surprised by how many people find your experiences relatable and inspiring.

Sharing Beyond Family Lines

So, how can you share your life story with people who aren't part of your immediate family? Here are a few impactful ways:

Life Sketch: Write a concise version of your life story, highlighting key events, experiences, and lessons. This can be a great starting point for sharing your journey with a broader audience.
Holiday Newsletter: Send out an annual holiday newsletter that encapsulates the significant moments and reflections from the year. This keeps your friends and extended network updated on your life and provides a snapshot of your ongoing story. Then, it is easy to compile each year's edition into a more comprehensive record of your life.
Autobiography: Consider writing your autobiography to detail your life's journey. You can then gift copies to those closest to you, and you may be surprised by how significant that type of gift can be to them.

Embracing the Why

In a society that often prioritizes the continuation of bloodlines, it's essential to remember that the value of a life story isn't solely determined by the number of descendants it reaches . Your impact on the world transcends family connections, and your story can touch hearts and lives far beyond your relatives.

In conclusion, the question "Why should I write my life story when I don't have kids?" is answered by the richness of human connection and the potential for positive influence. By sharing your experiences, struggles, triumphs, and wisdom, you contribute to a tapestry of stories that shape the way others perceive the world and their place in it. So, don't underestimate the power of your story—write it, share it, and let it resonate through time.

Remember, as Gordon B. Hinckley once wisely said, "You never know how much good you do."

Twelve Great Quotes to Use in Your Life Story

kasia@everydaylegacies.com (Kasia Flanagan) — Fri, 18 Aug 2023 16:38:36 GMT

Incorporating your favorite quotes into your memoir will not only make it more interesting, but give your readers greater insight into your personality and character.

Who doesn’t love a good quote? Whether it’s a line from a movie, lyrics from a song, a piece of literature, scripture from your faith tradition, or just something powerful someone once said to you, many of us can mark turning points in our lives with beautiful, inspiring, ironic, honest, or funny words penned by someone else.

One of the great ways to add interest to your personal history and insight into your soul is to incorporate meaningful quotes.

These can be placed in the text of your story, or, most often, at the beginning of chapters or sections to introduce a theme.

Following are twelve short quotes that would be great additions to almost any personal history.

Remember, choose those that resonate with you or fit in your story. That way, you will not only be making your life story more interesting, but will be enabled to share even more of yourself with your audience in the process.

"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop."

– Confucius

"The only thing that is constant is change."

– Heraclitus

"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity."

– Albert Einstein

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will."

– Mahatma Gandhi

"The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships."

– Tony Robbins

"The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go."

– Dr. Seuss

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear."

– Franklin D. Roosevelt

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them."

– Walt Disney

“ The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall ."

-Nelson Mandela

" Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. "

-Steve Jobs

" If you look at what you have in life, you'll always have more. If you look at what you don't have in life, you'll never have enough. "

-Oprah Winfrey

"I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened. "

-Mark Twain

Preserving the Legacy: A Guide to Safeguarding Tangible Objects and Their Stories (aka what to do with the stuff you inherited from your mother's attic)

kasia@everydaylegacies.com (Kasia Flanagan) — Fri, 11 Aug 2023 19:17:23 GMT

The material stories of our families are not just about any one thing, but about the emotions, memories, and connections they represent. Start preserving your family's tangible legacy today and embark on a journey that will resonate through time.

Perhaps you can relate. When my great-grandma passed away, I was almost thirteen, and I have distinct memories of what the post-death period looked like. Mostly, it was helping to clean out her small apartment and find homes for all the knick-knacks, family documents, and heirlooms she had kept and preserved all those years.

While being the recipient of treasured material items can be very special, it can also come with a heavy burden and responsibility (not the least of which can be finding where and how to store them!). Questions like how to pass them along to the next generation, particularly when the next generation may not seem very interested in them at the moment, can weigh significantly on your mind.

On the other side, in a world of ever-evolving technology, it's also easy to fall into the other trap--to overlook the importance of our tangible possessions and the narratives they carry. Whether it's your great grandmother's cherished sewing machine or the wedding ring that has been passed down through generations, tangible family heirlooms are more than just material possessions; they are gateways to the past, connecting us to our ancestors and preserving our family's rich history.

At Everyday Legacies, we understand the significance of family or personal heirlooms and the desire to protect and pass down their stories. In this guide, we'll explore the art of preserving tangible objects, ensuring their longevity, and creating a lasting legacy for future generations.

Understand the Significance

Before you embark on the journey of preserving your family heirlooms, you need to take time to reflect on their significance. Understanding the stories, emotions, and memories associated with them is imperative. This deeper understanding will guide you throughout the preservation process, ensuring that the essence of each item is captured and shared effectively.

Documentation is Key

To preserve the history and significance of your tangible objects, thorough documentation is essential. Start by creating a detailed inventory, noting each item's description, origin, and any known historical context. Consider including photographs, written anecdotes, or recorded interviews with family members who can provide additional insights. Don't forget to include your own experiences and memories with the object! This documentation not only adds depth to your family's story but also serves as a valuable resource for future generations.

Create a Safe Environment for the Object

Proper storage is crucial to prevent damage to your cherished possessions. Depending on what the object is, consider the following tips:

Temperature and Humidity: Maintain a stable environment with moderate temperature and humidity levels to prevent deterioration and mold growth (especially important for objects made from natural material (cloth fibers, leather, etc.)).

Lighting: Minimize exposure to direct sunlight and harsh artificial lighting, as they can cause fading and discoloration, especially of photos, paintings, or other types of light-sensitive objects.

Handling: Always handle objects with clean hands (consider using archival-quality gloves when necessary, like for very old books). Avoid placing unnecessary pressure on delicate areas, or letting your three-year old grandson hold your grandma's special vase!

Storage Materials: Utilize acid-free boxes, tissue paper, and protective covers to safeguard your heirlooms from dust, moisture, and pests.

Conservation and Restoration

If your tangible objects have already suffered some degree of wear and tear, consulting a professional conservator or restoration expert is an option and an important step for long-term preservation. These specialists possess the skills and knowledge to repair and preserve delicate items without compromising their historical integrity.

Share the Stories

Preserving tangible objects goes hand in hand with sharing the stories behind them. As you pass down these heirlooms to future generations, make a concerted effort to narrate their histories. Consider hosting family gatherings or storytelling sessions, where each object can be showcased, and the memories and anecdotes associated with them can be shared and celebrated. Remember that an alternative to a live storytelling session is recording one on your phone to share with your family! Take photos and make a video of the object. If it is a machine and you can get it running, show how it works!

Embrace Digital Preservation

In the digital age, leveraging technology to enhance the preservation of your tangible objects is a must! Digitize photographs, letters, and other paper documents to ensure their longevity. These can then be added to family or personal history books, as they should be! Additionally, if you have a lot of material history, you can explore interactive digital platforms that allow you to create virtual exhibits. This would allow you to share your family's history with a broader audience while safeguarding the physical objects themselves.

Tip: be sure to save all digital copies of objects in a safe, cloud-backed up place. This will help prevent losing all your hard work to a harddrive failure or similar travesty.

Material family heirlooms are important pieces of all of our lives. Preserving the histories of tangible objects is an art that allows us to not only celebrate our family's legacy but to pass it on to future generations. Through thoughtful documentation, careful storage, conservation efforts, and the power of storytelling, we can ensure that these treasured possessions continue to inspire and connect our loved ones for years to come.

At Everyday Legacies, we are dedicated to helping individuals and families preserve their personal histories. By embracing the steps outlined in this guide, you can embark on a meaningful journey to safeguard your tangible objects and the invaluable stories they hold, leaving a lasting legacy for generations to come. Should you need help getting started, please don’t hesitate to reach out!

Connecting Through Stories: A Fun Game to Strengthen Family Bonds

kasia@everydaylegacies.com (Kasia Flanagan) — Fri, 04 Aug 2023 14:16:08 GMT

Life can move so fast. In today's fast-paced world, where everyone seems to be caught up in their busy lives, it's essential to find ways to connect with our families.

Whether we're close-knit or not, fostering deeper connections with our loved ones can strengthen bonds and create lasting memories. One beautiful and heartwarming way to achieve this is by playing the personal stories game. This game encourages storytelling and self-expression, providing a platform for family members to share their experiences, emotions, and memories.

Rules of the Game:

The rules of the personal stories game are delightfully simple, making it accessible and enjoyable for all ages. Here's how to play:

Gather your family members in a comfortable setting where everyone can easily participate in the game. This could be gathered around a campfire, sitting around the table for dinner, lounging in the media room, or when you’re stuck in a car together in traffic.
Designate one person to start the game. This person selects a word and shares it with the family member sitting next to them.
The recipient of the word takes a moment to think about the word and then shares a personal story related to it. The story can be about an experience they had, a memory associated with the word, or what the word means to them.
After sharing their story, the person who told the story then selects a new word for the next family member, and the game continues.

Benefits of Playing the Game:

The personal stories game creates an emotional space for family members to open up and share their experiences and feelings. As stories unfold, it helps family members understand each other on a deeper level, fostering empathy and compassion.
Through storytelling, the game becomes a wonderful platform for passing down family history and traditions. As older generations share their experiences, younger family members gain valuable insights into their heritage.
In a world dominated by screens, this game promotes face-to-face communication. It encourages active listening and strengthens the ability to express oneself effectively.
As family members recount humorous or heartwarming stories, the game inevitably evokes laughter and joy. It creates a positive and uplifting atmosphere, making family gatherings more fun for everyone.
The stories shared during the game become cherished memories for the entire family. These moments of connection are likely to be remembered and talked about for years to come.

While at its surface it may seem like just another way to pass the time, the personal stories game is more than just a simple diversion – it's a powerful tool for bringing families closer together. Through sharing stories and memories, the game fosters a sense of belonging and strengthens the bonds that tie us all together. Whether you're reconnecting with distant relatives or looking for a fun activity during family gatherings, this game provides an avenue for genuine connection and understanding.

So, the next time you find yourself with your family, give the personal stories game a try. Prepare to be amazed at the laughter, heartwarming stories, and even tears that may be shared. Let the game fuel your family's connection and create enduring memories that will be treasured for generations to come.

Building Family Bonds: Writing Your Personal History as a Unifying Legacy

kasia@everydaylegacies.com (Kasia Flanagan) — Fri, 23 Jun 2023 14:31:09 GMT

Don't miss the mark with your memoir, make it something that connects you to your loved ones.

This post was inspired by a recent experience with a woman who told me about her father's memoir, which he wrote before he passed away. She said it was more than 300 pages long and filled with his work and spiritual experiences, but that it was a bitter read for his children as it contained little to nothing about each of them. Instead of being something that drew them closer to him, his carefully-crafted memoir was a huge miss. In this post, we discuss the value of including a professional in your life-story writing process to help you actually leave the legacy you mean to!

Personal histories can be difficult to write.

Every person's life story is a tapestry of rich experiences, both cherished and painful memories, and of profound relationships that, when thoughtfully recorded, can serve as a foundation for future generations to treasure and learn from. However, capturing the essence of an entire life journey can be a daunting challenge, risking the omission of significant moments or failing to convey the depth of personal connections. Done right, a personal history should be something that draws your family, loved ones, or company closer together by bringing insight and understanding into who you are and the whys behind your life. It is definitely not something that should be divisive or cause pain.

Yet, sadly, that outcome sometimes occurs. Particularly when the person writing the personal history fails to carefully consider the method of their writing, the purpose behind it, and the questions, feelings, or experiences of their intended audience (e.g. their children), a well-meaning personal history can quickly move from being connecting to being a meaningless or even distasteful book on the shelves of family members (if they choose to keep a copy).

Happily, there are ways to avoid the major pitfalls of bad-personal histories. Particularly when you engage the services of a good writer-friend or a professional personal historian to help you, your life story can become something that will strengthen bonds for generations to come.

Following are three major reasons getting someone else involved will benefit your personal history in ways beyond what you can do on your own.

Expertise in Crafting a Cohesive Narrative:

Writing a personal history is not just a matter of recounting events—it requires skillful storytelling to transform memories into a captivating and meaningful narrative. Personal historians possess the expertise to weave together the threads of your life, ensuring a cohesive and engaging story. Their keen eye for detail and storytelling techniques enable them to capture the essence of your experiences, emotions, and relationships in a way that resonates with your audience. By leveraging their expertise, you can create a personal history that effectively communicates your life journey and strengthens the understanding and connection between you and your loved ones.

Bridging the Gap and Preserving Significance:

A personal history should be a meaningful reflection of your life, encompassing both significant moments and the impact of personal relationships. However, it is common to unintentionally overlook crucial aspects or fail to recognize the significance of certain people in your life. By working with a personal historian, you benefit from an outside perspective that helps identify and bridge these gaps. Their thoughtful questioning and insights ensure that no important moment or cherished relationship is left unacknowledged. With their assistance, you can create a comprehensive and authentic personal history that accurately reflects the depth and richness of your life experiences.

Facilitating Emotional Connections and Strengthening Bonds:

The ultimate goal of a personal history is to foster connection, understanding, and unity among family members or loved ones. Unfortunately, when personal histories are written without carefully considering the audience's questions, feelings, or experiences, they can inadvertently cause division or pain. By involving a personal historian, you gain a valuable ally who can navigate these sensitive areas with care and empathy. They can help you tell your story in a way that resonates with your intended audience, bringing insight and understanding into who you are and the motivations behind your life choices. Through their expertise, a personal historian can create a cohesive narrative that strengthens the bonds between you, your family, and future generations, leaving a lasting legacy of unity and connection.

You have many choices when it comes to recording your life story. The most important choice is to actually DO it. However, by considering the expertise, gap-bridging abilities, and facilitation of emotional connections provided by a personal historian, you can ensure that your life story becomes a unifying force that strengthens bonds and brings meaning to the lives of your loved ones, and not something that does the opposite!

For more information about Everyday Legacies' personal history services or to get a quote on a project, contact us for a free consultation!

Father's Day: How to Write About Your Dad (No Matter What Kind of Father He Was)

kasia@everydaylegacies.com (Kasia Flanagan) — Thu, 15 Jun 2023 18:30:51 GMT

Dad, daddy, father, pops, your old man--whether your experiences with fatherhood have been positive or negative, answering the following questions in your personal history will help you consider the legacy you really want to leave.

Father's Day is a special occasion that provides an opportunity to honor and appreciate the influential figures in our lives who have played the role of a father. This day invites us to delve into the depths of our own history, reflecting on the lessons we have learned from our fathers and father-figures and the impact they have had on our lives. Whether those lessons were positive or negative, they have shaped our journey. By acknowledging them, we can embrace personal growth and strive to create a better future for ourselves and our families. In this blog post, we will explore some thought-provoking questions and ideas to help you write about your father and the significance of fatherhood in your personal history.

What Does Fatherhood Mean to You?

Understanding your own take on the essence of fatherhood is crucial when writing about your dad. Take a moment to reflect on your personal perception of fatherhood. What does it mean to you? Is it about providing guidance, support, and unconditional love? Is it about being a role model or a source of strength? Consider the values and qualities that you associate with fatherhood and how they have shaped your own understanding of this vital role. Who has taught you these values? Exploring these questions will help you craft a meaningful tribute to your dad while attractin g readers searching for insights on what fatherhood means.

Lessons Learned From Your Father for Good:

One of the most significant aspects of writing about your dad is acknowledging the positive lessons he imparted. Our fathers often instill valuable qualities and teachings that become the foundation of our character. Identify the positive qualities and teachings you have acquired from your father. Did he teach you the importance of perseverance, honesty, or empathy? Did he encourage you to pursue your dreams or instill a strong work ethic? Reflect on these lessons and contemplate how they have positively influenced your personal growth and the choices you have made in life. Sharing these insights in your personal history will not only help your audience get to know your dad, but will resonate with those seeking guidance on how to honor their own fathers for the positive impact they've had.

Lessons Learned From Your Father for Bad:

It's essential to address the complexities of fatherhood when writing about your dad. No one is perfect, and our fathers are no exception. Sometimes, they inadvertently teach us negative behaviors or beliefs that we later realize need to be addressed and changed. Consider the aspects you learned from your father that you believe were detrimental. Did he exhibit anger or impatience? Did he neglect certain aspects of your upbringing? What do you wish he would have done differently? How has his influence impacted you? By addressing these challenges, you can demonstrate your own humanity and receive forgiveness for tendencies you might have inadvertently perpetuated. You will also be providing support and empathy for your family members who may be searching for insights on how to navigate difficult relationships with their fathers.

Reversing Negative Patterns in Your Family:

Overcoming the negative lessons learned from a father's influence is a journey that you may have had to undertake. Within your own family, reflect on how you have actively tried to reverse any negative lessons you learned from your father. Have you consciously made an effort to promote open communication and emotional support? Have you sought professional guidance to unlearn harmful behaviors? Share your experiences and the strategies you have employed to create a more positive and nurturing environment for your loved ones. Your posterity who are searching for ways to break negative patterns in their families will find valuable insights and actionable advice in your story.

How Do You Want to be Remembered as a Father?

Writing about your dad also involves contemplating your own role as a father or future father. Contemplating how you want to be remembered as a father can help shape your actions and priorities while you are still here. Consider the legacy you want to leave behind. Do you aspire to be known as a loving and involved parent? Do you want to be remembered for your guidance and mentorship? Reflect on the qualities and values you want to instill in your children and the impact you wish to have on their lives. By visualizing this ideal version of yourself, you can strive to embody those characteristics and create lasting memories with your posterity. Readers seeking guidance on how to be better fathers will resonate with your introspection and find inspiration to cultivate their own positive legacies.

Fatherhood is a journey of growth, learning, and reflection. By exploring the impact of our fathers in our personal history, both positive and negative, we gain a deeper understanding of who we are and the lessons that have shaped us. This Father's Day, take the time to honor and appreciate the role your father has played in your life. Write about your experiences, reflect on the lessons learned, and embrace the opportunity to create a positive legacy for future generations. Remember, the power lies in your hands to write the life story you want to leave behind. Your story is your legacy .